So I was thinking about this interesting topic recently and wondering why some people are two faced. They present one part of themselves to you and something else to another person given relatively similar circumstances. Well, I guess this could be explained by the fact that with certain people those two faced people feel more comfortable displaying certain facets of their personality than with others. I guess we are all two faced to an extent. However, when you know someone long enough, eventually this two faced nonsense is no longer possible and at that point that two faced person has to take off their mask and show all of who they are so the mystery would be solved and you fully see the person for everything that they are. At that point this two faced individual has to face the prospect of rejection, however, at that point you also have a choice to make and decide whether you are willing to accept all of the personality traits of the two faced person or if you are uncomfortable with the darker side and you want to let them go.
I have to say that although some people remain two faced in long term relationships, this is mainly due to the fact that they are liars and have no respect for their friends or partners. Otherwise, they would just do the right thing and show their true colors. Some folks are also pathological liars. They are so full of themselves that they think they can fool the world. However, underneath that cocky exterior is a fragile ego and a low self esteem. These folks feel that they have to keep lying so as to appear worthy to the outside world.
Here are a bunch of links to articles about two faced people:
This blog is number one on Google and is particularly popular mainly due to the fact that it summarizes all the excuses or reasons as to why people behave like two faced liars. I like the comments section because this is where people often acknowledge that the best way to deal with a two faced person is to let them go. Truly, there is no reason to wonder why they betrayed you. Unless the friendship is really long term you might ask, but no matter what they say not sure if this person could ever be trusted again and therefore, why would you want to have them in your life anyhow? At the end of the day it does come down to your own self esteem. If you value and respect yourself, you will not put up with any kind of bullshit or dishonesty in your life.
Here a bunch of smart asses answer the age old question as to why some people are two faced. I mean some say its a survival mechanism and other say that two faced people just don’t like themselves. Others say that two faced people are selfish and dangerous and there are still others that say we are all hypocrites. So who is right? I guess depends on the person and the situation at hand. However, I must stick to my original point being that with people you are very close to, you cannot afford to be two faced without being a total liar and a jerk.
Now this blog is particularly depressing. This person says that the best way to deal with two faced people is to be constantly paranoid and not to give too much of yourself so that when the person leaves, you are okay with it and do not miss them too much. I think this is a bullshit way to behave and it does not allow you to every form close relationships. This leads to loneliness and depression. I think that caution is good at the beginning of a relationship. However, once you get to know someone well enough and you like them for who they are as a person, you should open up. However, if you do encounter something you do not like about someone even at a later stage in the relationship, do not dismiss it. Leave if you are uncomfortable with something. Ultimately, I find that sometimes even your best friends could be unreliable. I used to have a best friend who would spend a lot of time hanging out with me and talking shit about all the popular people only to ditch me as soon as a more popular friend came along. This girl would go on to become a party girl in High School and I just could not believe what was happening. She would be friends with all sorts of odd people with questionable characters. I guess she was one of them after all. Now there is nothing wrong with partying and enjoying yourself. However, you cannot forget about your old friends in the process, otherwise, you’re a bitch and deserve to be hit by a truck! Well, my x-best friend did get into a car accident actually while hanging out with some of those popular people. So, serves her well! Honestly though, you should never be so invested in other people where if you were to lose them for any reason you would be losing yourself. This means that you need to try your best to be self sufficient at all times as much as possible and not rely on anyone too much. I know this may be easier said than done sometimes, however, I do believe that by having more friends and various other support systems you can somewhat broaden your options. Well, in any event I do believe that the longer you know someone the more you realize whether or not you can really trust this person. It is important to check if you are in the company of someone with true character or if they are just hanging out with you for a good time and convenience. A true friend will be there for you even if it is not convenient.
I love this Facebook article because it talks about two faced people not caring about others and being backstabbers. I totally agree with this. I think a lot of two faced people are total narcissists and have some serious psychological issues. However, some of these sociopaths are very charming and smooth and can get away with some of the two faced crap they pull. However, ultimately, the two faced idiots will be found out and discarded by society. They will die alone and that will be the best payback!
This is certainly an interesting article about backstabbers. It underlines the fact that the backstabber is usually temporarily nice to you just to get something they want which they cannot get for themselves. However, this person is actually threatened by your strengths and will not get inspired by you. Instead, this person will look to put you down to their level.
This article basically points out the same things that other ones did. I like the suggestions that you should not try to even the score by gossiping about the two faced person and that you should confront them about their backstabbing directly and with someone present so they cannot fabricate a nasty story about what was said later. Also, I like the suggestion of being civil with them. Honestly, two faced people are not friendship material and they have no real friends because they do not know the meaning of the word. At most, these vicious folks have acquaintances which likely will not know or care if they talk about them behind their backs.
Here it is discussed that fake people usually feel the need to put up a front because they are too concerned with whether or not other people like them. They are like chameleons able to fit in with just about anyone and often they do it by stabbing other people in the back when they think that another audience might give them credit for doing so. Unfortunately, it just shows what a lowlife these folks are and how insecure they are to behave in this asshole manner.
This page has some hilarious quotes which are very true when it comes to two faced people. If you are offended by any of the quotes there is a slight chance that you are an asshole.
This blogger totally copied off of another blog so nothing new here.
So I took this cool quiz to find out just how two faced I really am. As it turns out I am only 15% two faced and this page is suggesting that I must be surrounded by two faced people and that I should have my friends take this quiz. Too funny!
This forum talks about why some people are two faced and how to tell the difference between a truly genuine person and someone who is two faced. They claim the two faced person likes to talk too much and one moment is nice to someone and the next moment is talking shit behind their back. In my opinion often the genuinely nice people will not be all that nice right away. They usually need time to get to know you so they will put up a barrier to make sure that they are safe from any backstabbers for the time being. After a while, once these people get to know you and trust you they will be more nice to you. In my experience, it is the overly nice people who are nice to everyone all the time that you need to worry about. These people do not know the difference between right and wrong and have no real value system. I mean you can say they value other people’s approval, societal status, money, appearances, etc.., but nothing genuine that truly matters. So the next time you find someone who is overly nice to you right away and claims that you are like their best friend on day one, you need to really stay away from this person because they have some serious psychological issues and could be dangerous if rejected.
I like how this blog talks about not taking the two faced liars too seriously. I mean after all they are the ones with the real issue, right?
It is interesting that this blog calls the backstabbers the double minded men. It is true. These people are very unstable and often do not know their own mind. They cannot even decide whether or not they actually like someone for God’s sake. So a lot of people trust the gossipers at work with too much personal information and later when these porch people talk about them they get hurt. Well, I say at work you maintain a professional demeanor at all times because unfortunately you never really know who is who and because there is so much competition you just cannot afford to lose out on an opportunity because of someone who was overly nice to you for the wrong reasons. When someone is being too nice right away you really have to evaluate honestly as to why they are so nice to you in the first place. I mean what’s in it for them? Do they know you enough as a person to genuinely like you, or is it that they are being fake and just looking to gain something in the meantime? Can you honestly say that you have good reason to trust this person with the intimate details of your life? If the answer is no, then you had better keep your mouth shut and your eyes open. Check out how your new “buddy” interacts with other people and form your own opinion. I find that the truly nice people are often shy at first and testy. True friendship and intimacy develop over a long period of time. Same goes for trust. Don’t let your desire to be liked or to make friends allow for someone to bamboozle you into saying too much to the wrong person. Trust your instincts and don’t give in to social pressure of having to be everyone’s friend. Everyone know that shit ain’t real.