We all know that little green monster, all of us feel jealous at some point or another, and it’s perfectly normal. In a relationship, regardless if it’s Romantic or Platonic, jealousy can ruin that relationship with that person, sometimes for good. If you keep these few things in mind, then you will not only be able to maintain healthy relationships with people, but will you also be able to have a healthy relationship with yourself.
First things first, realize you tend to get jealousy, especially if it’s easy, or common place for you. If you first realize this is a problem, then you already accomplished half the battle! Now no one likes to admit they have flaws, but it’s important for you to realize that your flaws may be directly, or indirectly, hurting people around you. This doesn’t have to be an instant occurrence either, you can take as much time as you need, the more time to take the better, honestly. Self-reflection is a key part in making yourself a better person.
Second, Find out why you get jealous. Talk to a friend or family member about your feelings, and try to see if they can help you find the root reason for your jealous feelings. While it is a normal, human feeling, sometimes it can become a problem. Usually, the problem stems from some kind of insecurity you have from previous negative experiences. It’s almost is never the person whom you’re feelings are aimed at. Playing the Blame Game won’t get you anywhere, you are not only hurting yourself, but you also are making your problems out to be someone else’s fault. Sure, while a bad experience may be the source of your jealousy, you are the one in control of your emotions.
Third, Stop checking your Significant Other’s social media, and messages! Invasion of privacy is never okay, I usually see this in Romantic relationships, but it may happen in Platonic relationships as well. Your friends, and loved ones require your trust in them. If you go through their messages, or spy on their social media activity you are actively breaking that trust. If your SO is telling you that they aren’t “talking” with other girls on social media, and then you pull out screen shot after screen shot of them thanking complete strangers for compliments on Instagram, you are not only projecting your insecurities onto someone else, but you’re proving that you have the inability to trust. You can’t expect someone to prove they are trustworthy.
Fourth, Communication, Communication, Communication! Talking is super important in any relationship, but it is especially important in Romantic relationships. The best relationships, I find, aren’t ones that don’t have any fighting or bickering, they are the ones that have open and honest, and constant communication. Talk about your feelings, or your problems. You won’t be able to get to a solution if you insist on keeping yourself closed off. This will also cause an explosion of emotions later down the road.
Fifth, and final tip, keep yourself in check, and don’t be too hard on yourself. You are a human being, and you are going to make mistakes. Apologize if you allow your jealousy to get the better of you, and ask for help. There is no shame in asking for help, in fact many people may find you coming to them as a positive instead of a negative.