Do Girls Fart?
So many men and boys somehow decide to Google whether girls actually fart. Honestly, I do not blame you a bit. I totally get that you dudes want to find out everything your can about us ladies and all of our mysteries. However, I must admit that this is sort of a dumb search unless you are in kindergarten or something. I mean if you know anything about Biology, you know that the human body basically functions the same when it comes to gas. Yes, girls do fart. It is a fact of life. We are just better at concealing it and also we take better care not to eat certain foods which will cause too much bloating or gas. We also make sure that we empty our bowels regularly so that there is nothing in our system to cause farting in the first place.
So what are some ways that women can conceal their farting? Well, there is always just getting up and going to the bathroom to take care of business. However, if we are in a public place and have no way out, it is very common for us to hold the fart in and maybe release it slowly which causes what is called a silent fart. Sometimes this may come with an odor, but usually not.
I do have to say that this is a rather frivolous and immature search to begin with. I mean why in the world do you care so much about whether or not women release gas? As a man you should have other concerns like for instance maybe trying to understand how girls and women actually think and feel. This might make you more of a man and will significantly improve your chances of landing a great lady and having a serious relationship, if this is what you want. I totally get it if you are a player and all you care about are farts and women’s bodily functions. I mean first of all this is disgusting, but this just makes you a boy not a real man. So you definitely have some growing up to do. However, I am glad you are having a great time with the ladies’ farts in the mean time.
The truth of the matter is that girls and women are expected to act all feminine, clean, and classy in public. So we are forced to look a certain way and take care of any disgusting bodily functions privately so as not to alarm the people around us. Lets just face it, if a girl farted loudly in front of you and it smelled really bad you would totally judge her and make her feel ashamed about it. So maybe instead of trying to solve the fart mystery by doing these Google searches, you could just come up to your female friends and ask them directly. Are you man enough to do that? I am sure your female companion would appreciate this honest curiosity coming from you. It is either that, or your female friend will assume that you are a crazy pervert and will never speak to you again. Well, I guess it is up to you to decide if you wish to take this risk.
It seems that we live in a very shallow society where people just have trouble accepting others with their imperfections, you know farts and all. So men have these crazy checklists of superficial traits they are seeking in their potential partner and women even judge other women on things like releasing gas in public and other superficial crap. I wish that we were more kind to one another especially when it comes to things like farts that we cannot easily control.
I would say on average, a girl farts three to four times per day. There are people who are less or more gassy than others depending on the enzymes they have inherited and how their bodies process food. As people get older, it becomes more difficult to hold farts in and thus you have a bunch of stinky old folks running around. No wonder they say that old people are like children in many ways. The cannot hold their gas and they even wear diapers often.
There are different types of farts the girls might have. Some common ones include farts caused by laughter, sex, the silent fart (which can be smelly or not), and the freedom fart while walking. Although, some people claim that most farts happen when we are asleep.
So how does one learn to control one’s farts? Usually, it is all about strict upbringing in combination with fear and potential humiliation of releasing a public fart. This combination of societal influences causes us to gain the skills to hold farts in. What is so upsetting is that men do not get judged nearly as much about releasing their gas in public as women do. Just another gender bias if you will. This is just sexist as hell. Its like women are less than human or something. In fact, many men are so lazy and obnoxious that they do not defecate when they need to and so release many stinky obvious farts as a result which all of us around them are forced to smell.
Apparently men actually fart more than women. This is because they usually eat faster than women and feel less embarrassed by the farts. Also, if one has a wider anal canal, they are more prone to silent farts.
You might have thought that girls do not fart because often times they are very good at pointing the finger at someone else or other people assume it is someone else and the girls get the benefit of the doubt. I actually like that girls get the benefit of the doubt because we have to work so hard to be good mannered and everything and hide our farts that we deserve a little credit for all our efforts. Some women may even go as far as walking past the men’s weight lifting section at the gym, dropping a fart there, and walking away leaving the men guessing which one of them did it. Well, I don’t blame you girl cause I would have done the same thing!
If you fart too much, you might be intolerant to gluten or dairy. Also, according to the American College of Gastroenterology, sucking on candy or chewing gum can make you extra gassy.
For those of you out there who are obsessed for eliminating your farts, there is a brand of underwear called Shreddies. This is an underwear brand created for both men and women that features an “activated carbon cloth sandwiched between layers of regular fabric.” “This specialty layer absorbs and traps the odor before it can make its way out into the open”. Apparently, for this underwear to really work, you can only stand or sit with your legs closed. This is almost too funny.
Also, there is an over-the-counter drug out there called Devrom. Its active ingredient is bismuth subgallate, which reduces almost 100% of the smell produced by sulfur gasses, the main contributors to stinky farts. Bismuth is a metal which is very dense but nontoxic. The only side effect currently associated with taking bismuth subgallate is a darkened stool or tongue color. Otherwise, it seems like this medication is totally worth it!
Now this may sound odd, but some males are sexually aroused by flatulence. This condition is called “eproctophilia”. I guess to each his own, but this fetish is royally nasty as far as I am concerned. Although I must admit, your girlfriend will feel extra confident around you if even her farts turn you on. So congratulations for winning that oscar! Now some men love the smell and the sound of farts. They love it when people fart in their face. I don’t know, but something about this fetish seems very disrespectful to me.
Have you heard that apparently there are some yoga poses that will make you fart? During the seated forward fold it is almost inevitable that we will fart as we start to reach for our ankles or toes the happy baby pose can make us laugh as we press our feet into our hands, the knee to chest post id the pose for downward moving energy so it is the official farting pose, the haka pose naturally makes you want to fart because you are doing so much squatting, the supine core exercises involved your stomach muscles so this naturally makes you want to pass gas, the child’s pose has your butt facing out so what more encouragement do you need to fart? Let us not forget about transitions. When you move from a seated position with your legs facing front to another position such as lying on your chest, this most certainly can cause a fart.
There are some cool tricks that you can learn to get away with farting in public. For instance you can cough and fart at the same time to cancel out the noise. Also, if you are in a public place and cannot immediately go somewhere private, yet you must release a fart, you must fart and immediately leave the premises before someone notices. Now some people like to recommend the scent cover ups like lotion, perfume, and cigarettes. However, I think these only call more unnecessary attention to you and might actually alert any bystanders about your fart situation. So use these scent cover up tricks at your own risk.
Now the best places to pass a fart would be places that are completely closed off, like a staircase for instance, places that smell very good, or places that smell very bad. Also, you should try to fart within a large crowd. Without this, it will be very obvious who farted.
If you are going to blame someone else for the fart, make sure you do not point out the smell first. Wait until a few more people have smelled it and once this happens you can make a disgusted face and cover your nostrils. Your surprised face is sure to prove your innocence.
Holding in farts can cause serious health problems. Just because you decide to hold in a fart, the gas does not disappear. Instead, it creates pockets called diverticula. If these pockets get infected, you might develop a painful condition called diverticulitis. Additionally, you may develop weak areas along the colon which is not very pleasant either.
If you pass gas while naked, you risk transmitting the streptococcus pyogenes bacteria, which can cause all kinds of health problems including skin-eating disease.
Some common things that can make us fart include fizzy beverages, beans, fructose, lactose, raffinose, and sorbitol. Also, if you do not want a gas attack you should avoid red meat.
Some ways to beat flatulence include eating miso soup and probiotic yogurt. You can also do more walking or lie down and put your knees up against your chest. Other remedies include drinking ginger or peppermint tea and eating fennel seeds. Some people also recommend eating spicy curries. However, personally these usually cause the bloating and farting. Another cool remedy would be activated charcoal.
So as you can see there are many remedies for flatulence and many tricks to hide the farts. However, farts are healthy and natural so we should not be ashamed of them. However, it s good manners to take care of your gas in a private place or at least try not to disturb other people with the smell or the sound of your farts.
Whether you are a man or a woman it is important to show consideration for those around you. Also, depending on your location, you should be able to make a wise decision on whether it is a good time to pass the gas. It is all about common sense people. However, unfortunately these days common sense is not common. For this reason folks like you are Googling phrases like “Do Girls Fart”. I guess for some people this is not common sense yet.